


Dead Inside [One-Shot]

by justsomelarry



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 10:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7528582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsomelarry/pseuds/justsomelarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm not asleep, I'm not awake... I'm somewhere in between."</p><p>*Larry Stylinson*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead Inside [One-Shot]

**Author's Note:**

> This is also posted on wattpad. I just wanted to share it here in AO3 since a lot of people from wattpad liked it. This is a one-shot which means this is just a short story. I also want to see what AO3 readers would say about this. This is actually made for a competition, sadly I didn't win. :( So I posted it on wattpad and I couldn't believe that people from wattpad liked it. I hope you do too :) This is really short. If you liked it, share it with your friends as well <3 Thank you.

**This is my first time writing a one-shot and this will also be the last. I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it :)**

-

I woke up this morning and yawned as I stretched my arms above my head. I sat up with the feeling of excitement of seeing the person I've been crushing on for 4 years now, and smiled like an idiot. Ever since I saw that flock of curly hair during freshman year, I knew I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off of him. He had these green eyes that I eagerly want to take a photo of and use the photograph to cover my bedroom ceiling to look at before I fall asleep. But I will never be able to do that because Harry doesn't really notice me. I mean why would a cool guy like him notice a faggot nerd like me? I always thought of death but I'd rather endure the pain from the bullies if it means I get to see Harry. He's the reason why I am alive today, tomorrow and the days after that.

I rushed down the stairs in my plain white T-shirt and red pants matched with white converse sneakers and with a touch of my favorite black and white suspenders. But as I arrive at the last step, I heard someone sobbing and it sounded like my mom.

"Mom?" I called.

The heartbreaking whimpers were coming from the kitchen, so I ran straight to where she is and found her with her head bowed down, letting her hair fall to the side, making it hard for me to see her face and her hands were resting on the counter top. As I walked towards her, with my arms held out ready to comfort her, she raised her head up and stared at the microwave.

"Mom?" I called, pulling my arm back.

"I'm sorry, Lou." She uttered.

She covered her face with her hands and walked pass me. Sorry for what? She was already dashing her way up the stairs.

"MOM!" I called out, shouting, trying to catch up to her.

A deafening sound of door slammed was all I got. 'Is she mad at me?', 'Did I do something wrong?', 'What did I do?' These were all the things running on my mind like a broken record. When I went back to the kitchen, I found myself looking at an empty table -- no plates, no pancake topped with butter and maple syrup, no orange juice -- just a bare wooden table.

"This is not her." I told myself with a sigh "She cooks breakfast everyday, never missed a single day." I opened the cabinet just above the sink and reached for the Coco Pops on the upper right of the topmost shelf. "It's annoying how I still can't reach for this thing!" I complained as I grabbed a chair. I prop it just where I need it to be. This is one of the reasons why I hate being short. Why do I have to be tiny? I'm still 5'9 though. I reach for the cereal and I got down from the chair and walked my way towards the fridge to grab a carton of milk.

At that moment, I was imagining how I would be tiptoeing just to kiss Harry's forehead and he would scrunch up his nose. We would be the cutest couple in the world.

I entered the bus and sat on my usual seat at the far back. _Am I awake?_ Normally, everyone would start calling me 'faggot' and throwing crumpled papers at me the minute they got a glimpse of me. I kept thinking of logical explanations to grasp my mind on to explain this weird situation. I even thought about Lottie, being such a wonderful sister and knowing how much I love Harry, planning something to surprise me and Harry will be there or something. Thoughts kept running through my head.

My grades were still good, but not as compelling as before. I don't blame Harry for being attractive, but he was NEVER a distraction and he would never be. I can't believe how mom and Liam talk about him like he's causing a load of bullocks in my life. Liam and my whole family, except Lottie, knows that I liked Harry when I was in Sophomore.

"Hi Louis." A girl whispered from behind me.

I turned to see a beautiful white-haired girl with a wonderful smile plastered on her face.

"Hi Perrie." I waved at her.

She hugged me and I hugged her back. I have always admired Perrie. She's a wonderful girl and such an amazing friend.

"Ooooh! God, I've missed you." She said before she pushed me away.

"What do you mean? It was just summer break, we have it every year." I said.

She furrowed her eyebrows with a hint of confusion in her eyes. There is nothing to be confused about, is there? She was about to speak but the loud sound of the bell cut her off.

"You should keep going." I told her.

"How about you?" She asked.

"I'll be a little bit late. I need to take a wee." I said in reply.

She nodded before she disappeared into the crowd. Why did she looked so confused about spending summer break? I don't get it. Maybe it's my birthday and I was gone for a few months. But why would I be? My mom would never allow me to miss a day in school. Except when I'm very sick, of course. Maybe there is a surprise and Perrie's part of it and she's just confusing me.

I opened the door to the bathroom and went inside. It smelled like lavender with a mixture of piss. Boys' bathroom always smells like shit. I wonder what the girls' bathroom smells like. I walked towards a cubicle, but it was locked.

"Hello?" I called.

I know there are other empty cubicles but I prefer this one because my bum has been warming that toilet seat since elementary. I heard someone sobbing and it was coming from that same cubicle. Why is everybody crying lately? Did World War III occur while I was asleep?

"Um, is everything alright?" I asked.

"He's gone." A familiar voice mumbled.

It was deep, husky and... sexy. And the only voice I'd find sexy is Harry's.

"He's gone, Liam." He uttered.

Wait, who's gone? I was busy focusing on Harry's sexy voice that I totally forgot that he was crying because of someone.

"I know, Harry. But please, stop crying." I suppose Liam said that.

What are they doing in one cubicle?

"I can't Liam. I can't! I'm so stupid." Harry said in between his sobs.

"Harry? Liam? Could you let me in or at least open this door?" I uttered.

"None of this is your fault, Harry. He loved you too." Liam said.

Liam knows someone loves Harry and not just me? Why didn't Liam ever tell me that I have to battle with someone to win Harry's heart? Harry loves who? That's why Harry never noticed me because he was busy noticing someone else. You're so stupid, Louis! I knew it from the start that he'd never love someone like me. Why do I have to be so stupid?! Harry continued sobbing loudly while mumbling the words "he's gone".

"Harry, stop. You're making me cry." Liam said, followed by a sniffle.

"That stupid truck driver. Is he in jail? He should be filed to FUCKING death penalty!" Harry angrily remarked.

"Could you guys open the door?!" I irritatedly asked.

The sounds of whimpering filled the quiet bathroom. Why are they ignoring me? Did I do something wrong? Why are people ignoring me? I don't like this surprise anymore.

"I-I miss h-him, Li." Harry hiccuped.

"BLOODY HELL! Stop ignoring me and open this door!" I shouted.

I heard the lock click and I stepped backwards, surprised that they finally noticed me and opened the door. The door swung open and I froze in my spot to see the gorgeous curly boy in front of me. His swollen green eyes staring back at my blue ones. I glanced at Liam who was staring back at me. His eyes weren't swollen but tears were building up in his eyes. I looked back at Harry who already had tears falling down from his eyes.

"H-Harry..." I mumbled, slowly reaching out for his face.

Liam patted his shoulder which made him turn his head to look at him, missing my chance to touch his soft cheeks and wipe the tears away.

"Harry, Louis is in a good place now." Liam uttered.

"WHAT?! I'm right here, you can see me! Are you out of your minds?!" I screamed, waving my hand in between their faces.

"He's not in a good place without me." He mumbled.

This is not a good surprise. This is not funny anymore. Harry just shook his head, his curls flying everywhere as he wipes away the tears on his cheeks. GREAT! I was supposed to be the one to wipe those tears away because I'm still right HERE!

Liam sighed before patting Harry's back and walked his way towards the bathroom door, leaving me and Harry behind. Harry looked back at me and had a lazy smile form on his lips. This is my chance! We're alone now and he could finally see me.

"Hazza..." I whispered.

Tears were building up in my eyes as my vision blurred. There were tears in his eyes too. I reached my arm out again to touch his face, missing it once more as he walked towards the bathroom door.

"HARRY EDWARD STYLES!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, tears gushing down my cheeks.

He stopped and turned around to face me but his eyes didn't lock with mine. I glanced to the left where Harry was looking but saw nothing but my reflection on the mirror. I looked back at him, confused more than ever. Why is he so blind? Why can't he look me in the eyes with his beautiful green eyes? Doesn't he like my eyes?

"Louis, if you're in here..." He sighed.

If I'm in here? I am in here. He just saw me a while ago and now he's acting blind.

"Why'd you leave us?" He added and without even blinking his eyes, tears started streaming down his cheeks.

"I would never. I'm right here, Harry. Right here!" I shouted, another batch of tears started to build up in my eyes as I walked towards him.

"Why'd you leave me?" He said as he started sobbing.

I stopped in confusion. Why did I leave him? What does that suppose to mean? If this is a joke, he's a really good actor.

"If only I could turn back time..." He added, his eyes were now focused to my right.

The tears quickly fell down my cheek and I quickly caught it with my palms, wiping it away. I'm not ready for this...

"When I first laid my eyes on you..." He said, his voice cracking.

He laid his eyes on me?

"W-when we were i-in Sophomore." He stuttered.

What? When? Where? How?

"When I-I loved you..." He added.

He loved me.

"I would... Just to say I love you." He finished.

He was panting as he sobbed. My tears continuously streamed down my face. It was so quick I couldn't catch them. If this is still the surprise, I couldn't have been happier. I wish he means every single word he's saying right now. I'm just crying because he's crying and those words he said to me means so much that it made me this emotional. I just want to run to him and hug him but I can't. My knees felt weak and I'm afraid that if I take one step, I'll faint. His sobbing slowed down and he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I loved you, Lou. I love you and I will always do." He said as he wiped his eyes with his polo.

He looked around the bathroom, without looking at me.

"God! I wish you're here and you can hear everything I'm saying." He sighed, looking down at his feet.

What is he talking about? I'm right here. Why is he acting so blind and stupid? I don't want to call him stupid but he's acting like one right now.

"Harry, stop being stupid. I'm right here." I rolled my eyes.

He looked at my left again and sighed.

"I'm so sorry I didn't notice you before." He started sobbing again.

"Liam told me how you were trying so hard to get me to notice you." He added.

Hearing him sob makes my eyes fill up with tears like a bucket being filled with water.

"Why did you leave me, Louis? I was about to ask you on a date!" He groaned, rubbing both of his hands on his face.

He was about to ask me out? On a date? Is this really happening? Because it feels like it's real.

"I'm so so stupid! I know you're asking yourself why I did not ask you before. I just thought that you might say no because I might be a distraction to your studies. I don't like to be a distraction. I want to be the one to inspire you. Besides, I like you more when you're smart." He chuckled as he looked down on the ground as he felt uneasy and his cheeks blushing in a crimson red color.

He is so adorable.

"Oh God, Harry. You would never be a distraction to me. You always inspire me." I smiled as tears swiftly rolled down my cheeks.

"I'll miss passing by you on the halls and you'll look down on the ground as you push your glasses up to the root of your nose. I'll miss seeing you smile when Liam makes you smile. I'll miss your beautiful laugh when you and Liam would sit behind me and Niall. I'll miss seeing you around, Loubear." He said as he started sobbing again.

He actually whispered the last word. A nickname he gave to me. My tears came falling down like rain as he said those words. I can't believe he actually notices me. I don't understand why he'll miss me when I can still push my glasses up but this time, I'd smile at him.

"Ha-harry..." I hiccuped.

Tears were quickly falling down his face as it drops down to the ground like raindrops falling on a concrete floor.

"Haz..." I whispered as I gained strength and walked towards him.

He now looked up at me, blue meeting green and I felt weak again. I stopped walking towards him leaving me a few inches away from Harry. His eyes were swollen and he was still crying. He calmed himself a little and had a lazy smile plastered on his face. He started grinning like a little kid, his dimples showing. He quietly sobbed as he stared straight into my soul.

"Always in my heart, Louis Tomlinson." He uttered.

He sobbed three more times before he left the bathroom. I'm crying so hard right now. _Am I asleep?_ Did that really happen or... It was all just a dream?

I walked my way to my first class which was Chemistry. I'm so confused. Why would he miss me? Why didn't he ask me out when I was right in front of him? I opened the door to my classroom and the students didn't even lift their heads up to see who came in.

"Sorry, I'm late," I said as I looked at the teacher.

She was writing down on the board and didn't stop. Why are people so blind lately? Are they ignoring me or everybody's just a part of the surprise? But Harry's tears were so real. Like it's not even scripted. I am so confused. I made my way to the back on the corner right and sat on the chair. I looked down on the desk and saw some scribbled words on the wood. I heard the sound of a chair being dragged.

Someone pulled a chair beside me. I looked to my left and smiled at Perrie who smiled back at me. I looked back on my desk and I slowly ran my fingers on the words that were scraped on my desk.

**Faggot**

**Go to hell!**

**You're disgusting.**

**Nerd.**

**You're a loser.**

But something caught my eyes... Something I hope I never laid my eyes on.

"Mrs. Edwards, what are you doing there? Please move your seat forward." Ms. Dayag called.

I looked at Perrie who had a sad look on her face. She mouthed a 'sorry' before she pulled her chair with her.

I gasped as the teacher who looked back at the board without glancing at me. I looked down my desk again, slowly running my hands trying to read the terrible threat...

**You're finally dead! Go rot in hell!**

or the terrible reality.

I'm not asleep, I'm not awake... _I'm somewhere in between._

**Author's Note:**

> If you didn't realize.. The quote in the summary, the lines that were italicized and the line at the end is a lyric in a One Direction song. And that song is "Truly, Madly, Deeply"
> 
> That song is such a Larry song to me. Hope you liked it :) Feel free to comment :)


End file.
